Catching Hope

Looking for the grace of God that surrounds us

To grieve

on January 18, 2010

I’ve lost three of my kids in the past three weeks…and one more is very sick and in the hospital.  (Prepare for a few, completely scattered, thoughts.)

Sometimes it’s easier not to process things, then to look them in the face and allow yourself to feel.

I have always been one to ignore things I probably ought to process.  Repression, I think they call it in the psychological world.  (You know, one of those startling moments in your abnormal psych class in college where you sit there and think, “I DO that!  I thought I was normal!!”)

Quite honestly, though, seeing the hurt that surrounds us (for me, in my job; what we all are seeing from Haiti, the loss and grief that occur with just going through life), how does one get through a day without restraining at least some of what most people would consider “normal” emotions?

Not sure how healthy it is though.  Sometimes I feel rather heartless. like a stone statue in a cold and snowy graveyard.  Casually mentioning an item of interest from the day–you know, “I slept late and almost missed work…I ate tuna fish on rye for lunch…oh yeah and so-and-so died.”  Something is not right about that.   But when I say it, I hope that whoever is listening understands.

Understands that deep inside, there are feelings.  It is not always best to process the full extent of our own feelings within a given situation.  It is often too overwhelming to try to process it later.  But it is there, somewhere.  And will most likely come out in some way later.  And it, in no way, is meant to diminish the pain of those who are suffering.

Grief is never easy.  But we as believers in Jesus do not grieve as those who have no hope.

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